Some Good Jay Leno Monologues

Big sales at stores over the weekend. Bloomingdale's had the huge Paris Hilton sale – if you bought a mattress they threw in a free camcorder. Hell of a deal!

The White House Christmas tree was delivered this week. It’s an 18-foot-tall fir from Wisconsin. President Bush said just the sight of it gets him into the spirit of the season. You know, the logging season.

Microsoft says their new goal is to put a computer in every automobile. Apparently they are trying to create a car that crashes itself.